When a spiritual musician crosses the fine line between earnest and cloying, the results can be far from heavenly. Join the cool kids in the back pew and snicker at these hellish examples.

Have any unholy creations of your own to rival these blasphemers? Click EasyEdit and add 'em to the page!


Country Church
Country Church

Vocal talent by God. Album cover by Sears Portrait Studio. (Expert crate-digging by the worst-album experts at Pork Tornado.)













DC Talk
Nu Thang, 1991

Hip-hop captures the struggles, aspirations, and musical heritage of America's meanest streets. DC Talk, on the other hand, captures the struggles, aspirations, and musical heritage of America's suburban megachurch parking lots. The rap trio brings Christian flava to the genre with heartfelt ditties about abstinence, tithing, and why good kids wear socks with shorts.


The Ministers Quartet
Let Me Touch Him

For the record, it was Fred, far right, who wanted to touch Randy, second from left. (A good touch goes out to Pork Tornado, who discovered this gem.)











Lordi
Devil Is a Loser, 2004

According to recent news reports, residents of Finland are furious that their 2006 representative at the prestigious Eurovision song contest is Lordi, who according to The New York Times, "have eight-foot retractable latex Satan wings, sing hits like 'Chainsaw Buffet' and blow up slabs of smoking meat on stage." One look at the band's 2004 album and our prayers go out to all of Scandinavia.
Lordi in fact went onto win Eurovision that year, and... well, that says it all, really!



A.A. Allen
God is a Killer!!

But he's not dead!










God Isn't Dead

But he is a Killer!







Mike Crain
God's Power

Why aren't there more karate chopping priests?
"I kick ass for the Lord!"





The McKeithers

This family quartet reaches new heights in spiritual music and hairdos. Mom's look is so distracting you almost miss Rapunzel and the Howdy Doody boys next to her.













The Louvin Brothers
Satan is Real

According to the liner notes, this Gospel/Country duo conceived and built the album concept themselves. What?! The horribly cheesy and fake looking Satan was built from scratch? Lies!













Mike Adkins
Thank you for the Dove

And thank you for the cheesy cover, Mike.












Little David and Family
I Feel Like Traveling On....

This gospel singing family is headed by "Little David," the father, who survived a snake bite, car crash and water skiing accident through the power of prayer and the first aid kit stored in his wife's beehive.









Black Sabbath
Born Again

This one you'll definitely want to bottle feed.











Crying Demons

Despite the crazy-eyed fellow on the front, this album claims to feature the recordings of demons speaking through the people they possess.










Butch Yelton and Upbound
Swing that Gospel Axe

Cheesy looking gospel bands of the seventies mean business! Butch Yelton has upgraded from his Gospel Hand Saw to a full sized Axe.










Carl Preacher
Just Jesus and Me

Actually Carl, I believe your 'fro counts as a whole other entity in this case.











Ozzy Osbourne
Speak of the Devil

Before I saw this cover, I'd actual forgotten that Ozzy wasn't always a pants-wettin' old codger.