Trying too hard is the kiss of death when attempting to be alluring. Want proof? Dig these record covers with what are supposedly sexy poses and situations.

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This may be the WORST sexcrime album of all time. I dare you to find one worse!!! - the urban ninja





























Bitchslap Breaks
So i think this is music for people who breakdance....I don't get it
















Christina Aguilera
Stripped, 2002

Tough to make rival Britney Spears look like the classy one, but Christina Bad-hair-a accepts the challenge. Um, you're the one who can actually sing; no need to be the skeevy one, too.












Tino
Por Primera Vez

The title translates as "for the first time," and given young Tino's wedding ring and come-hither look, it's apparent what first time he means. But when a groom slips into a skin-tight polo and denim short-shorts on his wedding night, the bride's in for an interesting marriage. (Shout-out to the wonderful worst-of list at Pork Tornado.)













Prince
Lovesexy, 1990

The androgynous genius who has rocked cheek-less pants, high-heel booties, and more purple than a vineyard decides to pose au naturel. Suddenly, we're nostalgic for cheek-less pants.










H.W.A.
Az Much Ass Azz U Want, 1994

Slutty and proud, '90s trio Hoez With Attitude, update the classic girl group for a new generation. Just like the Supremes, H.W.A. members coordinate their outfits and dance moves. Of course, Diana Ross didn't leave the stage with dollar bills stuffed in her thong.







Moist
Silver, 1994

Fist or camel toe? Or some frightful combination thereof? Must ... look... away.











Johnny Pate
Shaft in Africa Soundtrack, 1973

Not content just to erase decades of civil-rights progress, this soundtrack cover further insults by suggesting that music fans haven't fully grasped the title. Oh, you mean, Shaft? As in big phallus jutting out from a man's crotch? Gotcha.







Tom Jones
The Best of Tom Jones, 1998

There comes a time in every man's life, Tom, when he should keep his shirt buttoned up. Proably a good idea to go easier on the baby oil, too.





Trina
Da Baddest Bitch, 2000

A rapper so skanky she makes L'il Kim look like a nun, Trina wins plaudits for this modest (for her) paramedic's ensemble. But we take offense to her defibrillator use. First, if she's so bad, why is she trying to revive this guy? Second, if living means listening to Trina's music, he'd surely prefer to die.











John Bult
Julie's Sixteenth Birthday, 1985

I don't know Julie, but I'd guess that her sixteenth birthday involved a cheap hotel room, alcohol and a morning of regret.













Luke
In the Nude, 1993

Hey Luke! You're not nude if you have a hat on!











See also

• Extra Cheese
• Finding Bad Album Covers Is Easy
• Hair Horrors
• Random Acts of Ugliness
• Religious Sinners
• That's Disgusting
• Weird Wonders